Dear Spinal Cord Injury,
Today, it’s been 8 years since you came into my life. I never really wanted you. I never dreamed I’d meet you at all… until suddenly I did. You came crashing into my life in an instant and I was forever changed.
Ever since the beginning you have been demanding and bossy. You always insist that we do things your way. It took me a while to get used to you, but by now we get along just fine. We’ve learned to work together (most of the time).
I won’t lie… Sometimes you’re a real bitch. You’re incessant and irritating and you make me late and you make me cry and you leave me fallen on the floor. There are times I get so mad at you that I just want to scream. Sometimes I do. I’ve never been more frustrated with anyone else. You’re high maintenance and needy and everything that you want is soooo freakin’ expensive! You know I can’t afford that. When people meet us together, they always see you first. You embarrass me constantly.
And yet, you’ve become my closest friend and my trusted confidant. I know you like the back of my hand and I can read you like a book.
I am not sad we met. We’ve had so much fun together. I love being creative with you. I love trying new things and challenging myself and showing you all of the things we can do. We’ve climbed mountains on the earth and mountains in my mind — I hate you but I love you and I usually do both at the exact same time.
Because of you, I am a problem solver. I am an optimist. I am a risk taker in a way that makes me feel so alive. Because of you, I know what it means to be flexible and resilient. I know that I can’t always have things my way. Sometimes, you tell me I can’t do something, but I prove to you that we can. You threaten to hold me down but by now you know that I’m stronger than you. I always win the fight. I still have so much left to learn, but as young as I am now, you’ve already taught me a lot about what’s important in life and you’ve helped me learn what’s not. Not everyone is lucky enough to get advice like that from someone like you.
Because of you, we laugh a lot. Why should I be sad?
You’re ingrained in every part of me and everything I do. I feel you in my body. I feel you in my mind. You are my thoughts, my intentions, and the way that I perceive the world. You’re everything brokenly beautiful that I want to give it back.
Where would I be if it wasn’t for you? I have no idea.
WHO would I be if it wasn’t for you? I have no idea.
I never asked for you, but I would never give you back. I’d never trade you in or wish you away. You alone are not my definition, but this life we’ve created together defines who I am and for all of the blessings these years have contained… I am forever grateful.
Thank you, I love you. Like it or not, we will always be together.
P.S. You’re annoying.